Burn out? Just tired? Or in a transformation?

Being within the unfolding, exploring the ache and getting clear on my next chapter in life.

It’s April. What I thought was a break from business building is actually now a transit, a deep (ish) change. I am in the liminal space of stripping back to what feels good and waiting and staying curious. I thought I knew what I wanted (at least I was very clear 3 years ago) but things have changed. I am no longer as clear as I was…on some things. I know exactly what I want for our future but I don’t know how we are going to get there yet. Being heart-led means actually listening to your authentic truth and that is hard.

So is being within the unfolding.

So is exploring what the ache is (thanks

Jenny Lomas

for that term).

Here’s what I know to be true: >>>

• Permission to rest is hard. But I so need it. After 3 years of constantly being on in my business, constant content creation and thinking “what’s next” or “why is it not working - what more can I do?” or “just keep selling like she is” I needed to stop and breathe. It felt relentless and a constant cycle of not being enough. Of following the next algorithm trend or tip or someone else’s business strategy. Being a mama and solopreneur takes a lot of energy. At the moment being a mum/home maker is enough. I am still tired. Maybe this is a natural cycle of wintering that I need. What’s more - that’s so okay.

• I focus on the things that excite me, bring me joy ---> I follow the happy even if it is small moments of the day.

• I am still coaching a couple of wonderful clients. I am not actively selling online.I speak when I feel I have something to say. My days are left free and wide open. Bliss. This is what I was craving. Free autonomy with my time. It has meant I have way more bandwidth for my boys in the morning and afternoons. Tween emotions are big emotions.

• Okay I am going to be really honest here: I don’t want a business in the traditional sense. I don’t want lots of funnels, sales tactics, endless marketing and admin but I do want to generate an income (which can come in many forms). Not a “lazy millionaire” but zero hustle. Zero feeling like it’s hard and I need to keep working it out everyday staying on top of socials. I don’t want something that takes over my whole life and my brain. It has to work with my life values - I am not sacrificing myself or my life values for revenue. I just want to earn money being me.

• The ache is multi layered but when I am in the garden it goes away. When I simplify and focus on nourishing us as a family it goes away. When I pick apples and stew them it goes away. I remind myself that often the ache is caused by marketing and thinking I need something more when I don’t. (My mantra is ‘I have more than I need and need less than I think’). When I am doing things I love or just being, sitting and staring at the mountains, it goes away. The ache is possibly wanting to feel safe and secure and to have a guarantee that everything will be okay. My strength as a coach and mama is knowing that even if it isn’t okay I have the skills to make it so.

• Some of the ache is legacy pondering. What will I leave behind? What will I feel happy knowing I did it when I am 90? [This stems for my life time management of purpose-anxiety].

• That writing, creating, art and following those joy spikes is where the process of becoming is, where the clues are and the ability to process it all.

• This is in no way “homemaker chic” or a form of giving up or a feeling of “It will be better if I just let me go and be a full time 1950’s homemaker (cough cough tradwife)” - nope, nope, nope. There is still a definite calling/ache for my own thing that generates an income.

• The key is in finding the thing. It may still be coaching or a different way of coaching or just one little book that I put everything into and then let it go into the world but it has to be exciting and motivation and a feeling of “OMG yes!”. I feel I still need a focus, a thing. Maybe I don’t.

• It’s okay to change, that’s life. Everything is cyclical not linear.

• We need this more than ever. The future needs us to hold strong to our values, to build lives we love, to grow our own food (or be in a community that does) for future resilience, to understand how to live with less, to build a community of women that can support each other when it gets hard and yet..still generate an income.

• I love my “rich life” markers - slow mornings, do what I want when I want (within reason…I have kids lolz), good quality food, grow my own food, have time to learn new skills, preserve my harvest for food security, seasonal living and seasonal rituals, long walks by the lake, quiet country life, books (lots of books!), filling the house with flowers, baking, and a small group of good friends. And I need to trust these and not get distracted by other shiny things.

But...

I am open to seeing what comes next. My little guide is still being created. I am not forcing it. I am letting it gestate. I don’t want it to be just a quick thing I make and sell but actually something meaningful and supportive for women in business (esp mamas) who feel the same way. I keep adding to it and changing it. So, it’s going to take time.

Am I searching for my own “holy grail”? The thing that I can do that will work. That will allow me to feel excited, fulfilled, only work a few hours a day and earn the money I want? Likely. But, my gut is telling me I am on to something here. I just need to keep exploring.

What exactly do I want?

How do I want to feel?

How do I want to do it?

In some ways it’s a really easy tell.

If I feel ick, uncomfortable or ugh (“not this way”) then that’s not for me. Easy (especially when I get yet another bro-marketer or carousel telling me how to go viral). But…I don’t want to fall into the trap of self-sabotage for fear of it not working, for fear of getting too busy, for fear of feeling stretched and out of my comfort zone. Maybe when you are in flow and excited it doesn’t matter. You do the discomfort anyway because the excitement and motivation is stronger? From all my work on belief and manifestation the feeling gives you the thing.

This liminal time is right where I need to be.

There is no pressure or timeline. The journey in this chapter is just as important as the journey in my first year.

What I love, love, love is that actually I can share the how (when it comes (and if that helps you)).

HOW I create a sustainable income model on a few hours a day without hustle or burn out that feels really good. (The clarity on this is my next step).

I keep looking for the clues like my motivations right now:

• What do I desire right now?

• Staying curious to what the HOW could be.

• Building wealth through my unique set of skills that allows for maximum time freedom and choice in how I spend my days.

• Leading by example - living proof of my own methods.

• Developing a really clear vision for this next chapter that is exciting.

I believe the most powerful teaching comes not from selling, but from showing. By sharing my authentic experiences—challenges included—I want to prove that business success and personal bliss can coexist. I am pioneering a middle path where financial stability becomes the natural outcome of work that respects who I truly am. {Again the clarity on this is evolving}. Because I have tried “the other way” and it hasn’t worked for me the way I wanted it to.

I am confident there is a HOW that works for me (and others) but I need the time and space to let it come. To let it unfold.

I don’t feel I am alone in wanting or desiring this. Many mamas feel the same. Homemaking + time freedom + wealth on our own terms.

If you do, reach out and let me know (or in the comments below). And I’ll keep sharing the journey.

xOlivia